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“It’s not what you are that counts, it’s what they think you are.”
- Andy Warhol

I wake up today

to put on my loincloth

of gray jersey

one of two I bought

at the big and Indian store

there are no feathers

falling to earth in front of me

for a headdress

so I will have to pretend

I'm not an Indian

I'm not

but that doesn't matter

my tomahawk quietly

dips into my raisin bran

so I have to be careful

not to scalp my lips

the lady sits on her porch

sending smoke signals

with her cigarette

telling me her husband

loves her in a special way

I made that up

I have no idea what she's saying

Some of us are going

to hunt buffalo

at the big box store

or the buffalo are going

to hunt us

like the stupid tourists

who get gored every year

I'm an old non-Indian

Nobody smokes a pipe with me

to ask my advice

I don't have a pipe

I hate smoking

and I know enough

never to give advice

when I ride a pony

the hair chafes my thighs

loincloths don't protect

like they should

Vaseline brand Beargrease

that'll help

I don't have a pony

but if I did

I'd still wear a loincloth

they're kinda sexy

today I will shoot arrows

to get food

the store hates it

when I hit the scanner strip

tearing it so the laser can't read it

I don't have a bow and arrow either

The neighbor's dog is barking

I think I'll cook it for dinner

No I just think it

I couldn't catch the damn thing

if I tried

The big hot ball

is setting in the west

so the day is over

I wish the kids wouldn't

burn their rubber balls

they smell terrible

Soon the stars will come out

and we'll sit around the fire

telling stories

It's the Tonight Show

I don't know who's on
I miss Dave

Barry G. Wick