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Monday, May 9, 2016

First Conversation of the Day

Me: I just had a completely weird night of dreams. Can you help me?
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: Certainly, just a moment. You don't mind if I smoke a cigar, do you?
Me: No, go ahead..
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: You know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Now, go ahead.
Me: Why do I have toxic people in my dreams?
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: Since all of the people in your dreams are really you, that means that some part of you is a toxic personality.
Me: How do I stop that part of me?
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: Stop drinking Kool Aid. It was that weird blue color this morning?
Me: Yes.
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: Well, there you are. And since you don't mix it with real sugar you are giving yourself a double dose of toxic chemicals that remain in your body for a very long time.
Me: But I like Kool Aid.
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: So how many times have you heard it?
Me: What's that?
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: Don't drink the Kool Aid.
Me: But they are referring to the Reverend Jim Jones poisoning of over 900 people. He put cyanide in the Kool Aid.
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: And you know what's in Kool Aid now?
Me: Just one packet of whatever flavor I grab and about a cup of sucralose sweetener in water. Though I mostly like the cherry flavor.
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: These things will give you toxic characters in your dreams.
Me: It was only one night.
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: So how much Kool Aid do you drink?
Me: A gallon or more a day.
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: Oh my. One glass after school would be enough.
Me: I'm 40 years or more passed school. Since I'm not far from the end anyway, what can it hurt?
Dr. Psychiatrist Me: Well, you are having a conversation with you.
Me: You've got a point there.


Barry G. Wick

May 2016

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