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Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Omnivore


Omnivore

Ich habe angst
for an Angus
who provided
the rib-eye steak
I cooked
along with baked potatoes
petits pois
(that's little peas
in that Frenchy lingo)
with everything swimming
in butter
which means I likely
violated some Old Testament law
Ah, but I'm not Jewish
in fact, I'm as religious
as a post...post something
post this or post that
Vegans and vegetarians
will hate me
Cattle will fart at me
and make global warming
worse for my fellow humans
Peas scream when I pass their field
Shove my pod up your ass” they say
Potatoes are just plain stupid
which makes their caring impossible
still
I thought I heard a faint scream
when I mashed them with my fork
and salted
everything on my plate

With blood pressure rising
by the minute
I chew slowly and deliberately
since this is the first steak
I've eaten in Iowa
in five years
I'm sorry Iowa Beef Producers
I'm really poor
and some Senator or Representative
in Washington
will scream that I used
my S.N.A.P. Benefits
for expensive things
Nope
A surprise check
from a Rural Electric Association
ownership retirement
came
bringing tidings
of great joy
Angus beef
and the depth
of understanding
of my habits as an omnivore
Praise beef from whom all
blessings and juices
topped with butter ad nauseum
flow
on the plate
down my chin
on my shirt
whereupon my shirt
even tasted beefy
enough to make me think
I could eat the shirt off my back
which I won't wash
so that I could drool
first thing in the morning

Praise be to Drool
in whose image
we are all created

Barry G. Wick


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