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Thursday, September 10, 2015

Publish This Poem!

Hello my name is
Juan Feng-shi Apollinaire-Washington
My parents are a combination of
German Scottish and Norwegian
I concocted my MFA
at the University of Southern North Dakota
where I teach 22nd Century Poetry

I write poetry that never gets published

Soon this will change
because I have a name
the covers all the bases
I know you'll take this poem
into your deep publisher's heart
swirl it around a bit
get to know me
and put this poem
in your monthly magazine
I shall become famous

My poem will be translated
into thirteen languages
Italian but not French
Swahili but not Urdu
and some others

You will seek out
other poems by me
and my mysterious photo
because I have such
a important-sounding foreign name
You will call me on the phone
to invite me to read at the Y
or the Brooklyn poets
for a slight fee or let's just say
a ghastly-large honorarium
I will wear colorful clothing
and shoes
that do not match
My hair will be soaked
in a brand name shoe polish
I will say a few words
in my religious tongues
that no one will understand
and fake an accent
that sounds like a Native American
who grew up in New Delhi
I will be brilliant at this reading
and will chat with all those
who will fawn over me
at the rich man's apartment
after the reading

What a beautiful view
I'll say
while sipping my single malt
with a splash of cranberry


Barry G. Wick





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