Publish This Poem!

Hello my name is

Juan Feng-shi Apollinaire-Washington

My parents are a combination of

German Scottish and Norwegian

I concocted my MFA

at the University of Southern North Dakota

where I teach 22^nd Century Poetry

I write poetry that never gets published

Soon this will change

because I have a name

the covers all the bases

I know you'll take this poem

into your deep publisher's heart

swirl it around a bit

get to know me

and put this poem

in your monthly magazine

I shall become famous

My poem will be translated

into thirteen languages

Italian but not French

Swahili but not Urdu

and some others

You will seek out

other poems by me

and my mysterious photo

because I have such

a important-sounding foreign name

You will call me on the phone

to invite me to read at the Y

or the Brooklyn poets

for a slight fee or let's just say

a ghastly-large honorarium

I will wear colorful clothing

and shoes

that do not match

My hair will be soaked

in a brand name shoe polish

I will say a few words

in my religious tongues

that no one will understand

and fake an accent

that sounds like a Native American

who grew up in New Delhi

I will be brilliant at this reading

and will chat with all those

who will fawn over me

at the rich man's apartment

after the reading

What a beautiful view

I'll say

while sipping my single malt

with a splash of cranberry

Barry G. Wick