the way it for me today

June 24, 2025

Hi dear readers,

I'm 73 and get around badly on my stage 4 osteoarthritic knees.  I use a walker.  My plans began a few years back.  With no money except Social Security and gifts from friends.  I knew I'd need a mobility scooter some day.  I've lost close to 160 pounds with more weight loss planned.  Mobility scooters are rated by weight.  More weight, more money.  I grew very heavy sitting with and caring for my demented mother.  But yes,  I opened my mouth and shoveled in food.  I weighed 530 pounds when I moved to the Iowa City area.  I'm now around 370 pounds and going down.

A mobility scooter has to moved somewhere in order to go into shops and malls....or parks.  That takes a dedicated carrier.  With gifts from friends I purchased  this carrier for my 20 year old jeep.  Used, normally priced new $170 to $240.... this was for sale for $100.  

Months ago I acquire a huge sail for free.

When I'm able to find a mobility vehicle

I'm going to sew a cover.  If haven't checked lately, sail cloth ranges $28 to $36 per yard.  I estimate I have 20 plus yards I acquired yards free from a nice man cleaning out his shop.  I have yet to take out the sail from its huge duffle, but there's time.

This message is my prayer to the universe

To help me get an electric scooter of sufficient strength and power to help me around the rest of my years.  Here I am as of mid-June 2025.  Ì

If you Or the universe can help in some way my PayPal account is: rikwrybac@yahoo.com 

I'm grateful for everything I have now.  My life.  My new friends in  Coralville and Iowa City.  My old friends from Rapid City, South Dakota.  My poetry tutors, my simple inspirations.  Oh,  out of the over 560 poems here, I hope you find just one you like.  Who knows.  I may have written just one good poem.  One great poem?  Probably not.  But that's for the ages to determine.  Your PayPal gifts?  Simple gratitude is all I have.

Barry G. Wick

  

Dance

Dance

We have to dance even if we sway

In our wheeled chairs

We have to sing even if we just hum

We have to know art

Even if we only feel sculpture or

Touch a wall hanging made of rope

With tin cans full of dents

Many feelings fall from us

The fruits that grow

From the rain of lìfe

Barry G. Wick

The Lonely Audience

The Lonely Audience

We stay silent in this passage

From visions of a bright stage

To bones in padded seats

It's as if clouds pass over us

As they create flashing shadows

Leaves sparking in the trees

Bees circle in front of Spotlights

Here we watch a world baking

Unable to throw itself into fire

Insane leaders driven by gods

Soak the earth in living color

A puppy laps it up to live

Boys stomp in playing  puddles

The lonely audience picks losers

Barry G. Wick

All the Questions

All the Questions

Midtown New York

People outside the library 

My mother worked 

At the library

Probably Flushing Meadows

But who knows

My parents are visualized

Sitting on the steps between

The lions silent unmoving

To the roar of traffic

Did Leo 1 beep?

Ah, just a horn

During the war conversation 

About their work

About their fears

I never asked the many questions

I could have asked

While they lived

My children are silent

Without the dialog

I ask them of their lives

Their children and growth

Old like me they'll want to know

All the answers I never heard

Barry G. Wick

The Deflating Balloon

The Deflating Balloon

There was a pressure

As I gradually put my lips

To the elastic nozzle

Inhaling precious atoms

To fill this old balloon

I held it's contents in

Until I could no longer

Tolerate my memories

Of how I filled it

Day after day

Hour after hour

Being cajoled by family

To fill the balloon

At every special event

Then every day after day

Tired of the pain of pressure

I let go and watched it

Zoom about the rooms

Deflating in a flight of fear

How will it look in the mirror

As the wrinkles appear

It's not a diet

It's eating less more and more

I have no one to please

Making their meals

I'd lived to eat

Now I die to feel better

To be me in my deflated body

Barry G. Wick

Kodokushi

Kodokushi

[Lonely death in Japanese.  Many older Japanese die alone in their homes and aren't found until days or weeks.]

The last day I see my face

What thoughts will be in mind?

How grateful I was to be alive?

How sad I am I hurt so many?

How shamed I feel for actions

I did not stop?

These and more 

My children and grandchildren

The little I could do for them

The list of failures that plague me

Over and over and over.

There will be no next life

That so many believe.

I haunt myself

I am my own ghost

Staring in the mirror

Ready to disappear

Nothing remembered

No more pain

Sagging skin fading away

To songs I cannot play

Or sounds of my own heart

That pumps the day through me

Hours go up in smoke

With my mind ablaze

Turning to its last dreams

Barry G. Wick

Dear Missoula

Dear Missoula

Your service at my table

Was friendly and worthy

Of a closer time

A few kisses and the pleasures

Of our bodies

We fell in love 

I held those memories

With me all these years

I hope we are lonely

And worthy of the remainder

Of our lives together

Yes, this is my proposal

Neither of us will be young

We will have kept our memory

All these long years

I hope the years have treated

You with respect and you survived

All the trials that came our way

All the losses we felt.

All the hurt of our separation

Please come to me

Give up what you have

To share the little I have

Where I cannot leave

Write me now

Believe in my love

Barry G. Wick

Going Under

Going Under

Are these waves

Nothing about them is wet

They are full of memory

As painful as it gets

I'm reminded of guys

I knew years ago

Remembering every one

Their special qualities

I lose them at every step

Whether by their action

Or my telling them to go

My reasons were always

My family who would disapprove

I never thought for myself

My life didn't belong to me

So all I'm left with is sad memory

My later years alone

It's all my fault

This negativity continues

This emptiness is in charge

I can't step forward

What would they think

Who would I be

There's no profit

There's no benefit

Illusions continue to pile

As I tell myself I'm happy

Insert laughing here

Barry G. Wick

Pine Bark

Pine Bark

As a child

I was drawn

To the largest beings

In my neighborhood

The ponderosa pines

They lined my trail to school

They held a tree house

Made with injurious nails

Burned in our fireplace

Railings for a fence

Sitting next to one

I could peel  pieces

Of bark full of tiny holes

Pink and white underneath

The darkened and weathered

Surface chipped away

With a child's fingers

Little did I realize

Life would strip my bark from me

I was so strong and tall

Standing against the violent sky

The trees of the hill where I lived

Are still there so faraway

Their bark now seems

The softest skin̈

As I reach out to their motherhood

Barry G. Wick

Flakes

Flakes

Snow falls on an uncleaned porch

Kids knock to offer service

With their shovels

I have no money

To pay their price

Later

Opening the door

still snowing

The porch would have been

Recovered

Who would charge

To remove the new snow

I wait for the sun

Luckily still free

But you can bet

Someone tries to charge

For the open space to sun

LIke they do for the machinery

That cleans the streets

After the snow flies

Ah, the layers of government

In service of the economy

That won't send boys

To shovel my ramp

But who would visit me

And where would I go

The boys who want money

Would charge me for their use

Of my snow covered porch 

That no one will visit until

Until

I don't know when

Barry G. Wick