History in Retrograde

“Those who fail to study history might do it again.”--William Pocorny Stareclough, 14^th century British Philosopher

((General Washington's Press Secretary enters the tent.))

Good afternoon.

Yes, General Washington

will be going to Mount Vernon

again this weekend with his entourage.

We know this because

the slaves are already

clipping the grass while measuring

with rulers.

You know the future

father of our country

likes to hit boiled eggs

around the lawns with sticks.

Is he crazy? What an insulting question.

Next. There is no truth to the rumor

that Mary Washington is selling

Florida property to rich Brits.

We're not really at war with the Brits,

just call it an alternative peace.

We're all Brits until otherwise noted.

No, the Washingtons don't call

Mount Vernon “Mar-y-Languishes”

The colonial press pool will not be able

to go in the future president's wagon train

as there are many semaphore technicians

who have to be strung out

across the landscape

to keep The General in touch

with New York, Boston, and Philly.

Once in Mount Vernon

you'll each have two minutes

to file your stories.

I'm sorry to those from Chicago

and Phoenix,

you're not even cities, yet,

and well, we just don't have

a connection that far.

Yes, the future president

has promised to drain the swamp

but as you know

the Frenchie city designer

is falling behind with his drawings

for GeorgeTheThirdTown.

The General has ranted about that

in the dark of night to his cat, Tweets.

Next, Benjamin Franklin will meet the General

in Mount Vernon

to discuss his nutball idea

that one day lightning

will be used to send messages

on strings between cities.

There's your crazy person.

Oh, before he leaves,

The General is meeting

with the British ambassador

in the oval tent.

Only Brit press will be allowed in.

I guess they're discussing

something called

the Delaware Crossing Project

with the painters already

creating the picture

of the defeat

which you'll have copies

in your alternative history books

in about 200 years or so.

God Save The King.

Barry G. Wick